“Voices of Dissent, Voices of Love”

Rev Cathie Lambert 06/09/2020

Readings –   Romans 13: 8-14 and Matthew 18: 15-20

A young rabbi found a serious problem in his new congregation. During the Friday service, half the congregation stood for the prayers and half remained seated, and each side shouted at the other, insisting that theirs was the true tradition. Nothing the rabbi said or did moved toward solving the problem. Finally, in desperation, the young rabbi sought out the synagogue's 99-year-old founder. He met the old rabbi in the nursing home and poured out his troubles. "So tell me," he pleaded, "was it the tradition for the congregation to stand during the prayers?" "No," answered the old rabbi." Ah," responded the younger man, "then it was the tradition to sit during the prayers?" "No," answered the old rabbi. "Well," the young rabbi responded, "what we have is complete chaos!  Half the people stand and shout, and the other half sit and scream." "Ah," said the old man, "that was the tradition."

Thankfully this has not been my experience of Wembley Downs Uniting. You give the impression of being a pretty harmonious bunch! Conflict is often portrayed as negative, but I’d like to suggest today that harmony is not always healthy. Today’s reading from Matthew gives some very practical advice about how to deal with conflict. I wonder how you deal with conflict? Some people don’t like conflict – they avoid it. Some are not afraid of conflict, but would rather withdraw than get involved. Some, when conflict starts to arise, try to find a way of changing the situation before it all comes to a head. Some have no problem with conflict and like a robust conversation. And some are even more than happy to stir up a bit of conflict in order to get some healthy debate happening. We all deal with difficult situations in different ways.

The reading from Matthew gives us a clear formula for how to deal with a difficult person or situation. It begins with communication. Go and try and talk to the person involved – on your own. Such a simple piece of advice, but so rarely followed. How many of us when we have a problem with someone else confront them straight away? We often will talk to others about it, stew on it, think on it, hope and pray that things will change and then whinge when nothing does. 

We can all be guilty of this from time to time. We like people to be open and transparent with us, but it’s not that easy in practice. We hope that if there was something that we were doing or saying that was upsetting someone else they would feel that they could come and let us know and we could talk about it. Otherwise, we remain totally ignorant and would continue in the same way. We need to be honest with each other. We need to be open with each other in a gentle and loving way. In churches and Christian communities, sometimes we try to be too nice. We seem to have this idea that it is the Christian thing to do to repress our anger, keep our ill thoughts to ourselves and maintain harmony. Being nice only covers the wounds and the hurts. Real healing and healthy relationships come from being honest with each other.

As I was reading the Scriptures for today, I couldn’t help but think of the women involved in my research. I feel this is a safe place to test out some of my thoughts. I am studying a movement of women from the thirteenth century who had some different ideas about God and the Christian way of life. The church of the day were not too impressed with these women sharing their unorthodox authority around the place and so dealt with them in not so nice a way. For one woman I am studying, Marguerite Porete, it cost her life. Being burnt at the stake in 1310, she was listened to only to find fault and evidence of heresy. Her voice of difference was not heard or valued and was effectively removed. 

The other group of women I am studying are contemporary women who consider themselves on the edge of the church. Some still attend their local churches, but have pulled back from being involved and don’t use their voice in that community any longer. It may seem that the church has come a long way since the thirteenth century, but these women tell their own stories of being silenced and pushed to the margins. They may not face being burnt at the stake, but some of them have felt destroyed by the silencing and isolation they have experienced.

Both of these groups of women have been victims of an institution seeking control, power and, as a result, conformity. For me, the Gospel reading today raises questions about how we treat voices of dissent. Christianity is a religion that emerges from voices of dissent. We don’t have to look too far in the story of Jesus to notice this. Therefore, it seems to me that we should welcome, or at least listen to, these voices among us; the voices of the prophets. Instead, it often seems like the church values conformity. I believe this arises out of fear; fear of heresy, fear of losing control, fear of change, fear of losing numbers, fear of losing significance. This shadow side of the institution has not been embraced or acknowledged and, therefore, raises its head in ugly ways in our midst. The church seems to unite in its voice of dissent against injustices in society, but when the institution itself is challenged, dissenting voices are often silenced or eradicated. This is the story of the prophets. It is the story of Jesus.

Simon Oxley in his 2014 article “Nurturing Conformity or Dissent: What is the Function of Christian Formation?” addresses this issue. He describes dissent as arising from commitment and conviction rather than being viewed as complaining or fault finding. He argues that dissent needs to be nurtured for the sake of healthy community. The word “formation” means to fashion or mold. It indicates a predetermined outcome. The women in my study can be quoted saying, “I didn’t fit the mold any more” or “I just don’t fit in the church now”. A question I would like to ask the church is “What is the end product of Christian formation or discipleship? What is the mold we create, either consciously or unconsciously? Is it limiting or liberating?”

Voices of dissent hold a potentially valid alternative. Conformity does not encourage learning and growth. We need a positive culture of free expression that mitigates the tendency to conform. Perhaps this reading from Matthew, instead of being seen as a method of dealing with conflict, could be seen as a way of listening to voices of dissent. The seeming dismissal of those who do not conform to be treated as Gentiles or tax collectors, does not grant permission for isolation or marginalization. We need only look at how Jesus interacted with the Samaritan woman at the well, Zaccheus up his tree and the Canaanite woman to know that inclusion, love and transformation are at the heart of all his relationships. Voices of dissent need to be embraced rather than feared and shunned.

The Romans reading today highlights the supremacy of love in fulfilling the law. Love sums it all up – says Paul. One of the things that got my thirteenth century women into trouble was the centrality of love in their understanding of God. This may sound strange, but in a similar way to Paul, they asserted that love fulfils all laws and issues of morality. Perhaps there was no need for a church hierarchy to inform us how to live if we lived by love.

One of the women I am studying, Hadewijch of Antwerp, wrote,

I do not complain of suffering for Love:

It becomes me always to submit to her,

Whether she commands in storm or in stillness.

One can know her only in herself.

            This is an inconceivable wonder,

            Which has thus filled my heart

And makes me stray in a wild desert.              (Hadewijch, Poems in Stanzas 22. 15-21 

Over and over she says, “Be satisfied with nothing less than Love”. Love is at the heart of the Gospel. On one level, it is so simple, so foundational, that we wonder how anyone could argue otherwise. However, when love is seen as the fulfillment of all our laws and rules, and when this doesn’t match up or threatens those things that hold power or keep control in the institution – what are we to do? Unfortunately, history shows that the voices of power often prevail and the voices of dissent, the prophetic voices of love, are silenced.

I am sure that this reading from Matthew has been used over the centuries to justify the silencing, the accusations and the excommunication of many voices of dissent. One question I am asking is whether the church can broaden its horizons to embrace and listen to other voices.

It seems to me that independent thinking needs to develop within the context of relationships otherwise it is merely private knowledge. Oxley says, “What is needed are people who think differently and belong, who are committed to the community of believers but not trapped in its ways of thinking and acting.” The mono-voiced church must become multi-voiced.

This advice from Matthew on how to deal with conflict brings in an aspect of communal discernment. It is no accident at all that this piece of advice is sandwiched between the parable of the lost sheep and a passage and parable about forgiveness. The way of Christ is to continue to seek out reconciliation and to rejoice when it is found. True reconciliation creates a stronger community that is more able to show love to each other and to the wider community. And as we are reminded today, love is the fulfilment of all our human-made constructs and laws.